The Thoughts of a Teenager
by LittleMissLOL9000
Summary: Karen Cartwright. You're typical teenager. Life changes. Choices are made...Rated T for language and later content.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my lovely followers! (If I even have any left…) I'm soooooo sorry that I haven't been around much. I don't know what happened…I've been wanting to write, but every story I've seemed to attempt has given me a severe case of writer's block 3. So, I decided to try something new. Yes, this is a nbc's SMASH fanfic and they are all in high school in this. I wish they weren't cancelling it. I get that the first part of this season sucked, but I just got good! Don't cancel it nbc! PLEASE! Anyway… on with the story!**

**BTW: I'm trying to right this story as if Karen is having a conversation with herself the whole time. Tell me how you like it.**

Why must I keep that damn fan on all night every night?

Have you ever had one of those morning where you it is so cold that you just can't bring yourself to get out of bed? It's just so warm and cozy under the covers and you don't want to move and then all of a sudden you really have to pee? Well, it's California weather. It can never make up its mind. It was in the 80's last week and now it feels like it is somewhere in the 30's. And I'm one of those crazy people who like to sleep with the window open every night no matter the degrees outside and I have to have my fan on every night because I like the sound of it and it lulls me to sleep. Of course, it does pose a problem in the morning when it's 30 degrees outside. Oh well, at least it's finally starting to feel like Fall.

Suddenly, my bedroom door goes flying open and my god-forsaken light get turned on, "Get up! We're late!"

Oh, mom…as much as I love you, you drive me absolutely CRAZY sometimes! Can't I just stay in bed all day? Nope, apparently not. I've got to go to a beautiful place known worldly as…yup you guess it…school. What a joy…What is the point of school anyway? All us students ever do is sit in a chair and listen to some dull, monotone teachers explain all about what they are best at or at least what they were educated in.

"Get up!"

"Alright, mom!"

Getting up. Not necessarily what I want to do right now, but it must be done. I sluggishly step onto the floor, trying to find my footing in this pile of crap. My room is a disaster or, as my mother would call it, 'a pigsty.' It certainly does look like a tornado wound itself through here, but who the hell has time to clean it. Me? Certainly not. But, what can I say? I'm a teenager.

A teenager who is very behind in society. I'm 17 years old. I don't drive, I don't have a job besides occasionally babysitting. Single and never been kissed. Heck, I've never even been asked out, let alone being in a relationship. It's sad. But I love the outdoors, writing, research and anything that has to do with music.

"Karen, get your skinny butt out here. We are very late!"

"Ok mom! Stop stressing me out!"

"You're stressing me out!"

This is how every morning is. My mother and I have the same bad habit of sleeping through every alarm no matter what kind it is. Then we wake up; realize the time and rush to leave like chickens with our heads cut off. I don't think I've had breakfast in two weeks.

Oh shoot! Where are my black flats! They were under these pants yesterday! Who am I kidding? One couldn't find a school textbook in this mess!

"I'll be in the car!"

I hate in when she does this. She goes out to the car and waits for me to show my pretty little face. Where are those stupid flats! Ugh! Whatever! I found my hiking boots anyway! Who knows, they might look cute with the outfit.

I run out to the car and sit down in the passenger seat.

"Oh, god Karen, look at the time!"

"I know! I'm sorry!"

Am? Am I really that sorry? I've often wondered this…and yet again…no breakfast.

**So tell me what you guys think…I appreciate reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I'm surprised to see that I got three reviews (so far) on my first chapter. I thought I wasn't going to get any! I'd like to tell you now that I'm not planning on having Kyle be gay in this story and this chapter is mostly about introducing several other characters. The next few will probably be that same as well. So seeing as I've got a few of you interested, here is Chapter 2! Hope you like it!**

The car ride in the morning is always silent. Never awkward, only silent. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I have a great relationship…I guess just not in the morning . Oh crap…didn't do my math homework! Wait…did we have any math homework? We must have! Mrs. C always gives out homework. Even after a test! It's ridiculous!

Oh well…I'll just lie like I always do, figure out some excuse. I just realized a few days ago that I tend to lie a lot. Not just a lot, I mean A LOT! I lie about just as much a smoker will pull out a cigarette. I lie to my parents about homework, school and everyday things. I lie to my teachers. I lie to people. I probably should quite that habit shouldn't I? The only person I don't lie to is my best friend.

I don't even say 'goodbye' to my mom anymore as I get out of the car and walk towards the school. I think I should, but I gotta look cool for everyone don't I? One of the best quotes I've ever heard, _"Success, not greatness, is the only god this world worships,"_ I have it on my laptop because it is so true and I don't see anything wrong with it.

"Alright class," Mrs. C, my math teacher starts to say as I walk in the door 1st Period, "Get out a pencil and calculator for your test."

Wait, what? Crap…did I study? No. I forgot…again.

"Miss Cartwright! Late again?"

"Yes," Isn't it obvious?

I hate Mrs. C! And I hadn't realized why until a few weeks ago. She is so full of herself! She thinks that just because she's been to college, she knows everything there is to know! It is freaking annoying! And it sucks for me because this is my second year with her as a teacher. They made me retake Algebra 1. I took it as a Freshman and failed, so now I'm a Junior in high school and I'm sitting in a class with nothing but Freshman. I can't believe I was them only 2 ½ years ago. As for Mrs. C, she is still the same know-it-all teacher who expects her students to study math 24/7! I have other homework besides math and I have a life outside of school!

Might as well just get the test over and done with. What is it on again? I don't even know. Gee, you can really tell that I totally pay attention in math class!

**Solve the quadratic equation 6x^2 + 7x - 3 = 0**

Damn!

* * *

As soon as the bell rang, I was out of that torturous math class faster than a squirrel runs from a dog. Literally…I scurried out of there! I'm so hungry! I need to get to the café and get a muffin or something.

I make my way down the stairs, yeah stairs. This school has so many darn stairs! You can't help but feel bad for the people who are disabled or in wheelchairs. I make my way down to my locker. It's on the bottom, now what's my combo? 23-51-2. There we go!

Ana Vargas, my best friend, always meets me at my locker in the morning. It's like our place to meet every day. She's not very thin, but she most certainly is not overweight. I would say she is pleasantly plump in a healthy way. She's got sort of a gothic style about her. Her hair always falls in her face and she wears the biggest, tallest, most outrageous heels! Like I said…she's got an interesting sense of fashion. Me? I just show up in whatever.

But, I love her. We've known each other since 3rd Grade, hated each other in 4th Grade and have been best friends since 5th. It's actually a bit of a sad story, how we met. Let's just say I was a quite the loner when I was younger. I'm still pretty shy, but not as bad as I was in elementary school. I was having a rough year and I knew I needed a friend. I would sit alone at lunch and every day I would see her and her posse laughing and having fun. Every day I would sit a little bit closer hoping and praying that they would let me in and they did!

"Can I ask a favor of you?"

What…she never asks me for anything? "Um…yeah, sure."

"I need you to try and find out if Kyle likes me."

Ok…I was not expecting that. I just stare at her, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry. I know I this is coming out of the blue, but you know I don't like him like that and I don't want to cause any more drama…"

Kyle Bishop. Ah…Were to begin? Overall, a great guy. Funny. Charming. Good with the ladies. Just loveable guy. You could possibly dislike him? There's nothing to not like about him. I can't help but feel bad for him sometimes though. Many people seem to think he's gay for some reason even though he has had about three different girlfriends all three years of high school so far. I will admit, his voice is a bit high and he is involved with the theatre program here just like me and Ana. Did I forget to mention that I do theatre? But just because he does theatre doesn't mean he's homosexual! He's quite a good actor, a natural performer and if anyone gets to know him, they know he's not gay. With all honesty, I really don't know that much about him. The most I know is that he doesn't have a father in his life.

"I can try to get him to talk to me, but you know I barely know him. And getting him to talk would require him opening up to me in some way," I say.

"I know," Ana replies.

"And I don't even know how I would start that conversation without it sounded like I want to be involved with him…"

"Ok, forget it. I'm sorry I asked you. You're right," there was a moment of silence; "I just don't want to have you end up in the middle of everything."

"You would be in the middle with me. You don't like him. Why are you worrying?"

"I don't want to ruin my friendship with Kytti. You know how many times she's said she's in love with him."

It was true. She'd admitted more than once to both of us, but never to him. It's rather frustrating, the fact that we know that she "in love" with him and it makes ever lunch somewhat awkward for Ana and I.

Kytti…Yes, that is her real name. Is it pronounced the same way as 'kitty,' but with the y and i in switched. I guess she wanted to be different. You know…like Sa5m in Bandslam? Great movie by the way. You're probably wondering who she is? She's a great girl. A beautiful girl and a wonderful friend. Very quiet though. She's adopted…I'll just tell you now…It's not really my place to tell you who she is and what she's going through. She'll tell you on her own terms if she learns to trust you enough.

The bells rings. Ana and I say our goodbyes and I walk off to another class. This time, US History. It's that type of class that you wish the teacher would give some homework because you're not learning a thing! But that's just me…I like history!

**So again...tell me how you guys liked it? Interested? **


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm am sooooo sorry! I'm in the middle of finals and life has been crazy! **** Here is the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

**PS: it's still the same school day, so if you want to know what's been happening, start on chapter one! **

Well…history was…the same as always. Boring, loud and crazy. How is that, you may ask? I know, it's an odd combination, well…just my luck, ALL of the jocks are in that class! I'm not even kidding! They are loud, they are obnoxious and they don't give a crap! My history teacher, Mr. Felk, is getting pretty annoyed as well. He has to raise his voice almost every class period. Stupid Jocks! Well…jocks and cheerleaders which is even worse!

Ivy Lynn, the most annoying cheerleader in the world. Does everything from athletics, to clubs, to theatre. You can imagine why I get so nervous during auditions, because she's always going to get the role I want! It's been that way for years! UGH!

And yet again, no history homework…

On to Musical Theatre, but not before I buy a muffin…

* * *

Musical Theatre: A class taught by Mr. Tom Levitt or as us students call him, Mr. Levitt. He's ok, I mean…he's not the best teacher in the world, but at least he's nice. But it is such a nerve-racking class! We have to sing solos, EVERY week in front of the class and Mr. Levitt. Songs from musicals and then he grades us on our performance, stage presence and confidence. I always fail the confidence portion. Sucks…

At least I have Ana and Kytti in the class with me. They are my best friends

Anyway, school's been in for three weeks and here are the songs I've sang:

Week 1: "As Long As He Needs Me" – _Oliver!_

Week 2: "Getting to Know You" – _The King and I_

Week 3: "Watch What Happens" – _Newsies _

"Alright, class, today I would like to see the performance from…" Mr. Levitt always picks his favorite performance from last class to perform again. I hate this moment! "...Karen."

Damn! Why?!

Ana applauds and smiles and me, Kytti just claps…she never really smiles.

What choice do I have!? I get onto the stage, my legs are shaking, my throat goes dry and all of a sudden, I really have to go #2…that's one of the worst things about my nerves. When I get really nervous, I randomly really have to poop. I get it from my dad…

"I will by singing 'Watch What Happens' from the musical _Newsies_," Here we go. Mrs. Julia Houston starts playing the piano. _Crap! What are the first words?_

_"Write what you know"_

_so they say, all I know is I don't know what to write_

_or the right way to write it._

_This is big, lady, don't screw it up,_

_This is not some little vaudeville I'm reviewing._

_Poor little kids versus rich greedy sour pusses_

_Ha! It's a cinch!_

_It could practically write itself-_

_And let's pray it does, cause as I may have mentioned,_

_I have no clue what I'm doing._

_Am I insane? This is what I've been waiting for._

_Well that, plus the screaming of ten angry editors._

_A girl? It's a girl! How the hell? Is that even legal?_

_Look, just go and get her!_

_Not only that, there's a story behind the story:_

_Thousands of children, exploited, invisible._

_Speak up, take a stand, and there's someone to write about it._

_That's how things get better._

_Give life's little guys some ink, and when it dries just watch what happens._

_Those kids will live and breathe right on the page_

_and once they're center stage, you watch what happens._

_And who's there with her camera and her pen_

_as boys turn into men_

_they'll storm the gates and then just watch what happens when they do._

_[ From: . ]_

_*scream*_

_Picture a handsome, heroicly charismatic-_

_plain spoken, know nothing, skirt-chasing, cocky little son of a-_

_lie down with dogs and you wake up with a raise and a promotion._

_So, he's a flirt,_

_a complete ego maniac._

_The fact is he's also the face of the strike-_

_What a face-_

_face the fact, that's a face that could save us all from sinking in the ocean._

_Like someone said, "Power tends to corrupt"_

_and absolute power wait, wait corrupts?_

_Absolutely, that is genius!_

_But give me some time, I'll be twice as good as that six months from never._

_Just look around at the world we're inheriting_

_and think of the one we'll create._

_Their mistake is they got old, that is not a mistake we'll be making._

_No sir, we'll stay young forever!_

_Give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens._

_It's David and Goliath do or die_

_the fight is on and I can't watch what happens._

_But all I know is nothing happens if you just give in._

_It can't be any worse than how it's been._

_And it just so happens that we just might win,_

_so whatever happens! Let's begin!_

There is a loud applause. Of course, I think I sucked, but oh well. At least they liked it.

Today we get our new songs. I dread these days as well, because I have to see what way I have to exert myself next week. Mr. Levitt begins calling out names…"Karen…"

Ok…I grab the sheet music. "Dyin' Ain't So Bad" from the musical _Bonnie & Clyde. _I've never heard of it…

**Tell me what you guys think! I know it's a bit of a bad chapter and I'm not too proud of it, but review please! BTW! I need a good jock name! Send me one if you have one in mind!**


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